white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
