Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
