How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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