What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
