I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
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I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
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And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.