The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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