I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
