Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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