took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
