There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
