do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
