I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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