She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
