Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
it's like heaven, but drunker
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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