I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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