I'll bet she douches with gravy.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize