Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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