remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize