ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
