That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
