You work out of a Hotel?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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