my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
