I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
