Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
