I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
