You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
