We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
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Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
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Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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