So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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