i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
