Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
