the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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