I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
we should paint friendship bongs
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