yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Found your dick twin last night
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
