im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
