i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
