In the future we'll all be gay
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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