I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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