Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
