she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
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I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
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In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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