well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
