so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
