So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
