Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
