if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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