I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
