is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You smell like stripper and shame
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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