i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
