There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
