haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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