gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
