My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She even gives head with a lisp.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
