what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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