it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
please don't ironically join a cult
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