You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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