How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
