dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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