Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
