so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
