Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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