Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
