I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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