Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
too bad you live with your parents still
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
